September 12, 2013: Chienne de vie

Let's get it straight: my life sucks. This post is dedicated to demonstrate why in 3 facts.

Fact #1: I was looking at the statistics for this blog, in particular which keywords my readers typed in search engines Google. I was expecting anything... but THAT:

 Unfortunately, this is not a joke. 

So wait, I've spent 14,587 hours writing this wonderful piece of literature of a blog so gross pervs can j*** off on my girlfriend's photos? (Or on mine, but let's leave that assumption out of it.) In France, we have a nice expression: "C'est de la confiture aux cochons" which means: "It's jam for the pigs." I mean, I can't be too surprised...75% of the internet is sex (the other 25%- apparently just really earnest people looking to heal their knee injuries).  Nonetheless, I'm convinced I have also a bunch of quality readers (yeah Bob M., it's you!).

Fact #2: I emailed the Chicago marathon staff to tell them I won't be performing that well on the marathon day. Consequently, they changed my corral and put me in corral... J. Like not A, not B, not even F... J. Let me explain to you. Corral J is for people with an expected finish time between 4h56 and 5h16.

Hey guys! Mind if I run with you? Oh, should I fuck myself instead? 

You got it, I will be surrounded with old people, fat people, or... 12 year old kids. Wait a second. Seems like a déja vu, remember?

Fact #3: I'm back in my cubicle and it SUCKS. Everybody is frustrated that I left for 4 weeks and they're trying to smoke me.

My boss wasn't expecting to be dancing so early in the morning. Click for the full AVICII video.

VOILÀ - Quod erat demonstrandum.

A little word about my training (also called "note to myself"): I'm doing okay, I'm at 21.4 mi already for this week. I STILL have some pain in my tendon after a few miles but I just have to accept it. I will NOT be fully recovered for the marathon and I WILL suffer A LOT on the D-Day. C'est la putain de vie.